Krazy Kelvin's First Blogging E-Book !!!

Haere Mai / Welcome !!! Completed !!!! Yes, thanks to a few bloggers out there, mainly one in particular who made me rattle my brains..................copy & paste he said - copy & paste. I mulled it around in my little brain, not knowing what he was even talking about , but then...............the little man must of return because here we are. One chapter less than what I was going to do, but finish nevertheless !!!

A couple of people (no names mentioned) had a tear or two in their eye so it seems and they can't blame the dust - this is a brand new blog. As I finished parts off I published them so they could read them. It was a couple of the "old posts" I dragged out of the archives that set them off !!! On the board, it shows 88 posts done, but if you times that by 10, as most of them are 10-in-1, there would be something like 880 posts. That's just on one blog. There is no way I am going to count them to verifiy that. You will just have to take my word for it.

Comments are on - if you would like to comment about anything on this blog. The next job, will be to complete the 80 blogs, before moving on to the next new blog. Will it ever end ???

My thoughts & my prayers are with you all, no matter where in the world you are when you read this. Thanks for been a friend !!!

Arohanui !!! Kakite !!!

Chapter 1. I Did It My Way

Timelog: Black Friday, 13th May 2005 - At lunch on this day, I picked up an old woman's magazine (I mean that in the sense that the magazine was an old edition, not that it was a magazine for "old" women !!!) just for something to have a look at mind you while I ate my lunch, as I had already read the daily paper in my morning tea break. I was flicking through the magazine, looking at the pictures - didn't have time to actually read any of the articles - when towards the back of the magazine an article caught my eye. It was about blogging and starting your own blog and it gave a website to start your own. So, that night I started my "first ever blog" in my life and as they saying goes, "the rest is history" !!!


May 13th 2006 - I was "ONE" !!! Who would of thought it would last this long - certainly not me. I didn't expect anyone to read my krazy blog or even look at my profile, but the number has now risen passed 10000. I should have a proper counter on the blogs, but a rough estimate I have been given is for every one profile view there is roughly anywhere between 5 to 15 people that look at the blog/s but don't look at the profile. So that sort of puts it somewhere around 50k to 150k - a lot of people in anyones language.

When I started I didn't know the first thing about blogging or blogs or what to do. I still don't - I am managing to get by on "a wing and a prayer". Yes - don't laugh, you will never go to Heaven- I say a prayer at least once a day, if not twice and have done so for years. As they say, you learn something new every day - well today you learnt that I say my prayers !!!
I pray to - "Heavenly Father, Maori Gods, Guardian Angel, Mum & Dad and my Whanua.

Most of my friends I asked - even begged - didn't want to help me. Some couldn't see any $$$ in it; some were too busy; some thought I was krazy (what's new - hehe); some thought blogs were stupid and the list goes on..... !!! I did find a couple of friends willing to help but they knew less about computers than I did. As the profile views went from 2 digits to 3 to 4, guess what ? It seems some were looking at my blogs and were interested after all, as I started receiving phone calls, text messages, emails - would I like a hand ??? Boy, I had two words for them and only the second word is printable and thats "off" - I'll let you guess the first word and it does begin with "F" !!! That's not like me - is it ???

I asked a number of people who I found in a computer magazine as well as via the blog world for "help", but do you don't how many people replied to my request for help..........none !!! Not one person even bothered to send an email or leave me a comment or anything. Even a "sorry - too busy to help" email/comment would of been enough of a reply, but not even that. What's wrong with people ??? In the end I gave up and just plodded along by myself and ended up "doing it my way" - learning by my mistakes, etc.

Now that profile views has passed the "ten thousand" mark, every man & his dog wants to help me and put advertising on the blogs, sell things on the blogs - their things of course !!! One day, I will start selling things - t.shirts maybe & tea towels - things like that, which are easy to post anywhere. One thing for certain, even though I am a little krazy, (just a weeny teeny tiny bit) I aren't silly - I will make sure people getvalue for their $ !!! Once I get two or three people in a country interested in what I am selling. I thought (yes, I do have a brain and occassional - very occassional - I do make use of it. I can't leave everything up the little man in my head or he will pack up and move elsewhere !!!) I would offer the t.shirts, tea towels, etc to someone in that country and they can sell them via their blog/s. They would all be to do with a New Zealand theme.

The strange thing about all this, is I still use computers in internet cafes most of the time. Occassionally I use a friends computer. One day I'll get my own computer to put in my room, but when that will be, I don't know - one day !!!

The thing with internet cafes is I have meet a number of "tourists" to our country. They are interesting to talk and it will be something I will miss, if I put a computer in my room. More than a few have suggested that I should start a blog, for hitch-hikers/backpackers as well as other tourists. Get selected tourist related companies to advertise on the blog as well.

Chapter 2. Thirteen Helpful Tips.

Tip 1. "Surfing The Blog World"
When ever you have time and you surf the blog world - by clicking on "next blog" top right hand corner - spare a though for those whose blogs are in a language that you cannot understand. The only language I can understand is "english", but I always look at blogs in other languages. You will be surprised at the little "gems" you find, like this one which has a photo from the movie - "The Piano" which was filmed on Karekare Beach on the west coast of Auckland. The blogger is also from the west coast.............the west coast of the world - Chile !!!

TIP 2. NEXT BLOG !!!
If you find that there is no "next blog" at the top, click "back" on the left hand side, then click "next blog". When you come across a blog that you like, make a note of the blog address, just under the "back" button, before you have a look through, just in case you happen to lose it. Also a word of "warning", there are blogs out there that will curl your hair - if you already have curly hair, they will make it curlier !!! That's why Blogspot have the "Flag It" button - again top right - use it and they lose it !!! Every now & again, Blogspot also do a blitz and delete blogs like that.

TIP 3. "Comments"
When ever you are "searching" the blog world, leave a comment. Even on those blogs, whose language you can't understand. Who knows - they may understand your language. When people leave comments on your blog, you should be able to click on their name to take you to their blog, so you can have a look and leave a comment on their blog. It's comments that make the blog world go round !!! Click on to your name, to check that it does lead the person back to your blog. There's nothing worst than clicking on to a link to find that the link doesn't lead anywhere.

TIP 4. Blog To Express Yourself !!!
Blog to express yourself - not to impress others !!!. Just be yourself and let the words flow !!! It's your blog - what you put on it is up to you, remembering the fact that someone, (hopefully quite a few people) somewhere will read your blog & leave you a comment.

TIP 5. Your Window To The Blog World !!!
They say that - "your eyes are the window to your soul" !!! Well, in the case of blogging your window to your blog is of course "your window to the blog world". You see your blog from the inside-out, when you are typing your posts but how many times do you look at your blog from the outside-in ??? I have seen several blogs where you can't read the "posts" because colours clash, especially when the background colour is "black". After you have published your post - view your blog from the outside-in and see if you can read your post.

TIP 6. Photos - A 1000 Words !!!
Photos. As they say, "a photo is worth a thousand words" !!! But all those words are lost especially if you don't include a few words to say what the photo is about, or where it is taken.
I have seen several blogs which have great photos, but..........no words of what, where or when. in a few cases, no words are needed as the photo speaks for itself, but even so - include a few words in your language as well as in english, if possible if english isn't your first language.

TIP 7. Blog World = Worldwide Shopping !!!
If you are serious about blogging, one way to look at your blog is as if it's a department store and treat it as such. Choose your colours carefully. as well as the setout and the banner. Each blog representing a "floor" with it's own posts/stock, etc. It's got to reach out & grab a person as they are searching the blog world, which in effect is a huge worldwide shopping mall. It is something that could go on & on for a few years for other generations to look at.........who knows ???
If you are just out to have fun

TIP 8. You Have 30 Seconds Or Less !!!
You have all of 30 seconds or less to entice people into your blog/shop if only to browse for a few seconds. If they like what they see, they will stay longer. When I am searching the blog world, I sit with the "arrow" poised over the "next blog" button ready to move on............!!!
It is difficult to search the blog world when there are two or more computers per table at internet cafes. Especially if one of those unmentionable blogs happens to pop up. It seems to take the "next button" forever to move on to the next blog.

TIP 9. Start Another Blog
If you have only one blog........start another and another........!!! Don't overload your "one & only blog" !!! When I search the blog world, I watch the bottom left hand corner where it gives you the details of how many items there are to be down loaded. Sometimes when the figures show 200 to 300 items or more to download, I just click & move on as I normally can't be bothered waiting. See how long it takes for your own blog to down load. If it takes too long, think about "moving some stuff" to another blog, using the "copy & paste" !!! (I just learnt how in the last 12 hours)

TIP 10. Pick a Subject
If you have a subject, or a topic you are interested in - you have the makings of a blog !!! Don't limit yourself to what you know of the subject or topic - get out search, see what other bloggers are doing. Find websites etc relating to your topic or subject and add those to your blog, using HTML, either in the body of your main post, or make links on your side bar.
The same goes if you belong to any of those weekday blog thinge's what ever you like to call them. Instead if loading up your main blog, start another blog or two

TIP 11. Get Out There !!!
Now you have got a blog or two, don't just sit there and hope......that people will find you !!! They won't. You have to venture out there yourself in the blog world. Your blog/shop is one of millions in the world and just to sit back on your behind.......... waiting, is like waiting for grass to grow.

TIP 12. Start Your Own Links
Whatever your hobby or interests are, there will be other bloggers out there with the same interests whom you can ask if you can list their blogs on your blog & vice versa. Have a look thru the blog first and see whjat you think. If there is too much advertising / pop-ups, etc steer clear.
for

TIP 13. Above all, just be yourself !!!
Relax - sit down in front of your key board and just play away - let the words flow. If you are having a blockage (upstairs, not down) - do something, phone a friend - got any juicy gossip ??? Read the paper, go for a walk, even if it is just outside and around the house or around the block. If it's dark, look into the night sky; listen for sounds in the night. If all else fails...........borrow, from my blogs or someone else's blogs but ask the person via leaving a comment what you want to borrow. Nine times out of ten the blogger will say go for it, but you always get that "one" who is a a******* !!! Create a link at the end of your post and say something like - borrowed from (and list their blog address)

Footnote: I aren't blowing my own trumpet here but have a look at Kelvin A Memory Always and see what I have done with the old saying of - "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue. No doubt you will find all 4 things that you could blog about in your part of the world. Use your what's upstairs and I am syre you will go a go of it. You could even create links to blogs that are doing posts using those 4 things. You wouldn't be copying each other with the same thing thats for sure - as for borrowed, well the world is your oyster !!! Create links as well to blogs where english is their second language - they will thank you for it and given time, you will learn some of their language and they will learn some english. It's all about caring & sharing, not about making a quick buck - after all, we are but..........One World !!!

Chapter 3. Thirteen Old Posts I Dug Out Of The Archives.

From - Black Friday, 13th May, 2005 / My First Ever Post !!!

"Someone Is Knocking At My Door, But Don't Worry, I Won't Let Anyone In" !!!

Years ago, back in the "dark ages when I was at school, if I had told people that one day I would sit down at a keyboard and type details of my "memories" on to a blog site, for other people to read they would of thought that I had gone crazy. They would of not only locked me up, but thrown away the key as well. So, make the most of it - read my "posts", while you have got the chance because I think those people in "white coats" will come knocking at my door. In fact, someone is knocking at my door now, but don't worry I won't let them in, because I have so much to share with you ! If you have got "memories" worth sharing with other people, create your own blogsite. I may be crazy but I aren't crazy enough to share my blog with anyone and let them take up my space. I have numbered my "posts" just to make it easy for you - to find again. Am I good or what ? Plus when you tell your friends to log on and "read" my blog, you can tell them what numbers you like the most. Am I good to you, or what ??? Nine Nine Nine - we have 2 on board and a long way to go. At 999, I will be just a baby because I have seen a blog which would have to be one of the biggest, if not the biggest, which had - "3835 Posts" - a total of 328,308 words !!! I will also be posting a thank you, to all those friends & family not only around New Zealand, but around the world. Especially those that have received my 2 page monthly emails, as well as personal emails. We are all in this together.......I'm just the "nut" behind the wheel. Read on.......you will laugh till you cry ! Love you all !!! Especially those that leave a comment as we walk down "Memory Lane" together into the future. Take care. My thoughts & prayers are with you all, where-ever in the world you are, when you read this.
Arohanui ! Kakite ! God Bless !
Kelvin Yorke
It's not the memories I have, it's the memories I leave behind.


From - 21st May 2005

#980. NOPQRS

When you look at the six letters of the alphabet above what do you see ? I had not read about this anywhere. It just came to me, so it was meant to be shared with all those friends & family, as well as people who just happen to come across my blog, around NZ and around the world. Anyone out there thinking about SUICIDE , talk to someone - talk to a stranger - email a friend. RING A HELP LINE .No one is alone in this world. "There are no strangers in the world, just friends that you have not met".
Someone, somewhere, sometime will "touch" upon your world and become a real friend to you.

P - PROBLEM ? Don't think about the two letters after the P as been a Quick Release to your problem and commit SUICIDE - think about the two letters before the P - NO !!!!!!!!!!Don't even give it a second thought. There is always someone that is worst off than you. Believe me, the heartache does not stop, when your heart does. It goes on forever in the hearts of the people that loved you, that you leave behind. I've lost 2 mates to suicide & also one person, who was like a "son" to me, because I had been around him from day 1. Theres not enough words in the world to describe the heartache that is left behind.

Tears in your eyes, can be wiped away, but tears in your heart are there to stay.I wasn't going to share my "blog" with anyone, but this is an exception. If anyone reading this has "lost" a loved one and wants to share their feelings of hurt with poeple, send me an email, or leave a comment.
The more postings that are done about this subject and the more comments that are made the better. You are more than welcome to copy this post on your "blog" if you want to. Spread the word - NOPQRS !!!!!!
Take care everyone - where ever you are in the world reading this.


From - 25th June 2005

GREAT WORLD BLOG STORY ???

Krazy Kelvin (Red) Muggins (Maroon) Barb (Aqua) Granny Smith / Apple Green - CensorB.
Barb - I have changed my mind - I want BLUE !!! Aqua is too hard on my old eyes !!!
Women !!!!

MUGGINS arrives......

M. Hi BUSTY BARB !!! Hi GRANNY SMITH APPLE !!!! Where is KRAZY KELVIN ?
B. Thats for us to know and you to find out !!!
M. Are you two having a coffee ? MAKE ME ONE !!!
B. What ! Are your hands painted on ? Get it yourself !!! Men !!!
GS. Yeah !!! What did your last slave die of ???
M. Not getting me a coffee & answering me back !!!
GS. You know Muggins, you are starting to look more familiar every day for some reason. Very familiar !!!

I'm back...........hi everyone !!!

M. Shit, did you have to say it so loud. you scared the shit out of me !
K. Well, you had better go to the toilet then while I make us a cup of coffee.
M. Talking about "toilets" - who was it that used to paint out the " i " & the " s " on the toilets, all the time at school ?
K. Wasn't me !!! Anyway whats that "stink" ?
M. Unless you have forgotten, we have posted a pile of "shit" !!!
K. I aren't talking about that stink ! I'm talking about "perfume" by the smell of it.
B. Don't look at me, I don't wear any perfume !
GS. I don't wear perfume either, so it must be - Muggins ! Poofta !!!
K. Muggins !!! Are you wearing perfume ?
M. No ! It will be this - its a love letter from my girlfriend. She has dabbed her perfume on the paper.
K. Girlfriend !!! You - girlfriend !!! I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
M. Theres a lot of things that you don't know ! You haven't even got a girlfriend anyway, so speak for yourself.
K. Thats alright, I'll just wait until you're not looking and I'll pinch yours.
M. You had better not ! Anyway, its "looks" she's after !
K. Looks !!! Looks !!! What is she - blind ???
M. Yes, as a matter of fact, she is. She feels my face with her hands and then she feels my ....
GS. Muggins !!! Thanks, but we don't need ALL the details. After all this is a "family blog".
M. Could of fooled me with all this "shit" around !
GS. Well next week will be a lot cleaner & fresher believe me, because I'll be censoring everything next week !!! I may even add a bit more colour to the place, as well as a counter, advertising and maybe even some flowers !!!
K. Muggins and I are going to go for a walk to "blow the cobwebs" out next week as well !!!
M. Walk ! Thats the first I've heard of it ! You expect me to walk ? How long is this walk ?
K. Not very long ! About 3, maybe a little longer, Muggins !
M. 3 what ? How long is it ???

Muggins picks up his cup of coffee and takes a mouthful. Krazy Kelvin never misses a golden opportunity to .....

K. 3 to 4 hours !

Muggins just about chokes and coffee gets sprayed everywhere !!!

M. You waited until I had a mouthful of coffee ! You did that on purpose, you f..... .... !!! (censored / Granny Smith )

K. Got you !!! For your information, its called a "Coast to Coast" walk and its about 16km.
M. 16km !!! You are f..... (censored / Granny Smith ) krazy !!! There is no way in the world I would ever walk 1km, let alone 16km.
K. Come on, you will enjoy it !!! Hey, I will even shout you lunch, afterwards - hows that ?
B. By the look of Muggins, you better have a "fat wallet" Krazy Kelvin !
M. What about people looking at me ??? You can see how big I am !!!
GS. I am sure you won't have any worries Muggins ! People will feel the ground shake, think its an earthquake coming and they will be long gone !!!
K. Don't listen to them Muggins. They are just shit stirring ! We can just take as much time as you want.
B. Hey - what say I follow you two and when Muggins gets tired, you can text me. I'll pick him up and drop him off at the bridge.
M. You will do that for me ? Pick me up & drop me off at the bridge near my home ?
B. Who said anything about the bridge near your home ! I'm talking about the Auckland Harbour Bridge so you can jump off !!!
GS. I don't think that would be such a good idea, Barb ! Muggins would more than likely create a tidal wave from here to Kingdom Come if he jumped off the Auckland Harbour Bridge !
K. Did I missed something here, before I got back ???
M. You're determined to do this walk aren't you Krazy Kelvin ?
K. Yes, with or without you ! I want to do it, because I have never done it before, plus we will be able to write about it from first hand experience when we get back and share it with all the family & friends who keep returning, to read this krazy krazy blog.
GS. Why don't you just get a leaflet and write about the walk from that ?
K. It isn't the same as actually getting out there and "doing it" !!!
M. Ok !!! I will think about it !
K. Good on you Muggins, but hey there will be other walks later on, if you dont want to do this one.
M. Short ones ???
K. Yeah ! Short ones ! I think I had better take a short walk now, to bed. Time for you all to go home ! Drive carefully. Make sure Granny Smith gets settled in Barb, when you drop her off.
M. Can I stay the night, please !!!
K. Ok ! I'll make you up a bed in the spare room. But don't you spend all the night on the computer in there, looking at Yahoo or EBay like you did before, or I will go on EBAY and Trade YOU !!!
GS. You wouldn't get a dime for him !
B. Thats true ! You would have to "pay" someone to cart him to the dump !!!
M. Bye Busty Barb ! Bye Granny Smith Apple ! I love you too !!!
K. Bye Barb ! Bye Granny Smith !
B. Bye Krazy Kelvin & whats-his-face !.
GS. Yes, bye Krazy Kelvin & ???. I have forgotten your name ! I'll just call you 2x2 !
M. 2x2 ???
GS. Yeah ! Have you never heard that expression before ?

Granny Smith stretches out her hands - wide !!!

GS. Yeah, I would say that you would be 2 axe handles high & 2 axe handles wide. Well, maybe 3 axe handles wide and the sawdust left over from the wood of the handles, they must of put "upstairs" !!!
M. Upstairs ???

Granny Smith & Barb head home..............

K. Your bed is made up. Boy - you must like living on the edge, Muggins !
M. Yeah, it keeps my blood flowing !!! Good night Krazy Kelvin. Thanks for been a "Friend" !!!
K. Good night Muggins ! Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite !!!
M. Bed Bugs !!! Bed Bugs !!! You put bugs in my bed ?
K. Got you again ! Boy, you are so gulliable. It's just a saying ! There are no bed bugs in your bed, at least I don't think there are !!!
M. Ohoooo !!!

Barb finally gets Granny Smith home and helps her inside the house.

GS. Do you know that there's going to be someone visiting us next week - Muggins "blind" girlfriend !!! I'll make sure that I get in first and and "pinch" her before Krazy Kelvin does and then I'll blame Muggins. Fancy him calling me Granny Smith Apple. I haven't been called that since I was a kid at school, by that bully, John. Him and his mates used to tease me all the time and pretend that I was an apple and try and bite me ! I fixed John good one day though - I kicked him in the gonads. I don't think he would of been able to have children later on in life. At least no one dared to tease me after I kicked him !!! Some young people these days have no respect whats so ever for their elders !!!
B. Don't worry about it, Granny Smith - Muggins is just been a Big Bully !!!
GS. Big Bully ??? Big Bully !!!

Granny rushes out of the room..........Barb rushes after her

B. Whats wrong Granny ? It looks like you have seen a GHOST !!!
GS. Photo album, photo album !!! Up there, up there !!! Quick !!!

Barb pulls the photo albums down from the top shelf of the wardrobe.Granny Smith grabs one. She hunts through, looking for one of her class photos.

GS. There, look, look........John, the Big Bully !!!
B. He looks just like "Muggins" !!! I have got a photo of Muggins, Krazy Kelvin & I in my purse. I'll go and get it.

Barb rushes out to her car, trips head over heels and lands on her ... !!! She comes back inside carrying a photo and rubbing her b.. !!!! Granny snatches the photo and puts it along side the photo in the album.

GS. OMG !!! Oh my God !!! I need a drink - scotch & water, but go easy on the water !!! Make yourself one as well if you want one ! Its in the flour bin, in the kitchen.
B. Flour bin ???
GS. I have to hide it from my family when they come over !!! They think I drink, day in & day out, but I have "ONE", once in a BLUE MOON just to to shock my old bones ! I also need to phone Krazy Kelvin, to talk to Muggins and ask him what his fathers name is. I knew he looked very familiar, from the first time I saw him with Krazy Kelvin.
B. You can use my mobile, Muggins is keyed in. He will have his mobile with him. When you are finished, you just close it up.

Barb pushes the button for Muggins and hands the phone to Granny Smith and goes to make them both a drink. Muggins mobile rings & rings.........finally he answers !

M. MUGGINS HERE, what do you WANT ???

Granny Smith has lost the plot and gone back in time ...........

GS. You are just a f....n Big Bully John !!! Just a f....n BIG BULLY and stop looking at dirty magazines or I'll tell the teacher !!!
M. Who is this..........Barbbbbbbbbbbbb is that you ???

Granny closes the phone and goes into the kitchen to get her drink, with a big smile on her dial and her hands in the air - YES !!!. She needs a drink, after having such a big shock.

GS. Gee, the "tides out a bit" isn't it, Barb - fill her up !!! It could be the last drink I have before I take Krazy Kelvins "Stairway To Heaven". Have one with me if you want to Barb. I know you drink, because I heard Muggins say, you "Drink Like A Fish" !!!
B. Did he now ! I like to drink, but only at home because I would never drink & drive - no way !!! I like to get settled in bed with a good b......book and have a drink or two. Did you happen to hear anything else ?
GS. Yes ! Lots !!!
B. Pray Tell !!!
GS. I heard them talking about # 930 - # 939, with all the # 2's !!! Then they were going to use the other "S" word in # 920 - # 929. They have already fiinished it, but they wouldn't let me "censor" it !!! They said it would make my ears burn ???
B. I heard Krazy Kelvin talking about doing a "Double Post". Now I know thats why they posted # 930 - # 939 earlier than they usually do. Are you sure they weren't talking about "S" for summer ?
GS. Don't tell me, you have never had............!!!
B. Of course I have !!! But did you actually hear them say the "S" word ? Are you sure they weren't talking about Krazy Kelvins "S"ummer plans to go north to Cape Reinga....Ooppssssss !!! GS. No ! They always say "S" rather than use the word around me, because they know I'll tell them off ! They know I wouldn't tell them off if they were using the "S" for summer !
B. Whats say we go back and have a look !
GS. Yeah !!! Then I can censor it, cut out all the "naughty bits" !!! We will show them, that I am the "chief cook" after all; Muggins is just the bottle washer and Krazy Kelvin is just the "nut" behind the wheel, as he puts it !!! We will show them that NOTHING gets pass me, without been inspected first !!!

Granny Smith & Barb get in the car and arrive back .............

B. ssshhh !!! You have to be as quiet as a mouse Granny when we go in !!! Remember its # 920 - # 929 we are going to have a look at it. We will have to use the old computer in the room where Muggins is sleeping. We can't risk using the computer Krazy Kelvin has borrowed that's in his room, because I don't know how to work it. I wonder what he is going to do, when he has to return the computer he has borrowed as the other one, is too old to be of much use. I suppose he will just "GIVE UP" - delete this blog !!! He talked of blogs going on for ever & a day - but if he does lose interest...........it will be - bye, bye !!! He will find something else to keep him off the streets !!!
GS. Taking about a mouse, I could put the PRAY TELL story on about Krazy Kelvin and the mouse !!! He gave me the key words to this krazy krazy blog and said I could put on anything I wanted. So lets have a look........ I can't see anything !!! Its too small !!!
B. That's the story of my life........too small !!!
GS. I forgot to bring my reading glasses, so I will tell you the story Barb and you can type it up. Then we will have a look at # 920 - # 929. I will show Krazy Kelvin he can't get anything passed me. We can't switch the light on, Muggins might wake up !!! Now where were we............

Barb sits in front in the monitor while Granny Smith whispers the story to Barb. Kelvin is the only registered person for this blog, so his name will show up under the post. (Hehehe)

GS. The day started off, just like any other day but.......Krazy Kelvin was sorting through some boxes in my kitchen for me.Helping me to have a clean out for the inorganic collection. He was on bended knees (no, he wasn't saying his prayers - well not this time anyway, but I think he did afterwards and also answered the call of nature - # 2. I know he had to use the "outhouse" because Muggins was taking all day, in the inside toilet, like usual) Anyway, he opened this box and peered in ..........peering back at him, was a..........tiny wee creature - a mouse !!! Boy !!! You should of heard Krazy Kelvin screammmmmmmmmm !!! (Even when he was born and I had to smack his bum a few times, he never screamed as loud. I am sure when he was born, he was holding his breath on purpose - KRAZY KELVIN (ssshhh, you will wake Muggins) from his first breath !!!) I don't know who got the biggest fright - Krazy kelvin or the mouse. I felt sorry for the poor wee mouse. To see this big bearded face peering down at him - I would of got a fright as well if I was the mouse !!! Just as well my house is old & sturdy like me, because his scream would of brought any modern house down, believe me ! Barb was in the other room and she heard him scream !
B. So loud was the scream, I thought he was been murdered - honestly !!!
GS. Krazy Kelvin was so quick, he closed the box, before the mouse could jump out and took the box outside. He was going to kill it, but Barb said she wanted a look first, as our Barb likes all natures creatures big & small except for "spiders" of course. So she goes outside to have a look at the tiny wee creature in the box and lets him go !!! By this time, Krazy Kelvin was long gone.........all you could see was his dust, as he rushed out to my "outhouse". I forgot to tell you Barb, after you let the mouse out, he went back out to the "outhouse" with a small plastic container, but it wasn't for the call of nature, he was collecting nature - "spiders" !!! I saw them in the plastic container, when he came back in the house. He asked for some brown wrapping paper & a pen !!! He wrapped the container up and addressed it. All I managed to see without my reading glasses was the word "Swanson". Do you live out Swanson ??? I remember Swanson clearly, because it was at the Redwood Park, where Krazy Kelvin, got hit in the head by that swing boat when he was a kid and he put his fingers in the "hole" and scratched his skull !!!
(# 987). I was a nurse in those days, and lived not far from the Park. I was there that day having a swim, in the pool, when the accident happened. All the kids saw was Krazy Kelvin flying through the air, after he got hit - then all the "BLOOD" !!! There would of been some force behind the hit he took, because those swing-boats were big and could hold at least 6 kids. By the time the adults got there, all these kids were standing around Krazy Kelvin crying their eyes out. I would of been one of the first adults to get there. Krazy Kelvin was lying on the ground in the middle of all these kids. There was this one poor kid who was sitting on the ground with Krazy Kelvin's head lying in his lap. He was stroking Krazy Kelvins face and his tears was mixing in with all the blood that was around. He was saying - "We all love you, Krazy Kelvin - don't die, don't die !!! It was then Krazy Kelvin open his eyes, lifted his fingers up and put his fingers into the hole and scratched his skull, before I could stop him !!!. That poor kid, who had Krazy Kelvins head in his lap, wouldn't let go of Krazy Kelvin. It took 3 adults to separate the two of them. The poor kid who wouldn't let go, because he thought Krazy Kelvin was dying, was - Muggins !!! He was going to go with him with Krazy Kelvin, if he died !!!

B. What did you say to Muggins on the phone, back at the house !
GS. Muggins ? I wasn't talking to Muggins, I was talking to "Big Bully John".
B. But when I handed you my mobile, it was Muggins number I pushed, so how could you of talked to "John" !

I think Granny Smith lost the plot well & truly - went back in time........... got confused when she looked at her class photo, with "Big Bully John" in it and the photo of Muggins, Krazy Kelvin & Barb !!!

GS. OMG !!! I was talking to "Muggins" and not "Big Bully John" ??? Oh my God !!!
B. I think we censor # 920 - # 929 and then we get out of here. Show me how you you bring up the blog !
GS. I don't know !!! Krazy Kelvin used to just called me over, while he had everything on screen and I would read through it and censor it, before he sent or posted or what-ever it is that you call it. Its all too confusing for me, at my age.
B. Don't worry, if Krazy Kelvin can do a BLOG without any help from anyone, I'm sure we will work it out between the two of us. As they say "Two heads are better than one" !!! You know, when he started this BLOG he asked around at least 10 friends, to get someone to help him as he would be -1 when it comes to computers, plus I have watched him when he types - he just uses two fingers. He also asked for "computer time" from friends, when they weren't going to be home, because he was using internet cafes and paying $2 per hour. He asked the "friends" that he has done the most for "first", but they all said too busy or NO!!!
GS. They all know what he is like when he gets hold of something NEW !!! If he loves it, he puts his heart & soul into it. He made "floating soap" as gifts for friends. I have still got a big, fish soap, he made for me that he wrapped in gold foil and called "Goldfish" soap. I have still got candles with "coloured flames" and I mean coloured, that he made for me. Green has green flame, Red has red, Purple has purple, you get the picture. I still have a "set of 7 colours of the rainbow candles" with coloured flames he gave me. He also made "Adult Chocolates" as gifts !!! Chocolates with chilli powder in them, which really blew your socks off !!! But boy they were nice !!!
B. Seven colours of the Rainbow ??? There are only 6 colours in a Rainbow !!!
GS. Hey, you are talking Krazy Kelvin here - there was a "black" in his rainbow as well !!! How he managed to do it I don't know. He has no partner - no one !!! Even though he has got family & friends around NZ and around the world - he walks alone !!! When he leaves us, all his those secrets & his memories will go with him, unless he finds a partner ! Well some of his memories will go with him. He has shared a few memories so far, with a lot more to come. Hopefully he won't lose interest !!! We have to help him all the way - walk with him as we all walk down "Memory Lane" together. Because once he leaves ........good-bye memories, goodbye laughter and good-bye tears !!! I Talking about ALL people here now - get your arse into gear and start your own blog !!! Jog those memory cells of yours and share those those memories with your family & friends. Even email some of those memories to this "Kelvin A Memory Always" krazy krazy BLOG of Kelvin John Murray Yorke, Auckland, New Zealand, The World !!! I am the censor, so if its printable and we have the "room" I know Krazy Kelvin will print it for you !!! He is that kind of guy. If only he picked one of his "true friends" to be a partner with him - that person would be set for life, but NO - he still walks alone. Now those friends who he asked for help, can see this krazy krazy blog going into "orbit", they are climbing over themselves to help him, but its too late. He came to see me and asked me. I watched & helped out where I could, but I must of been more of a hindrance than a help. He was really thankful because its a hell of a weight for him to carry "alone". Then you came into the picture Barb and helped out as well, where you could.
B. Anyway...lets have a look at # 920 - # 929, then we can get out of here. I think we have overstayed our welcome already !!!Now which keys, do we push.......that one ! No ! This one ! No ! I can't find the right keys !!! (ssshhh, you will wake Muggins)
GS. What about that key there.........oopps !!!
B. GRANNY SMITH - what have you done !!!
GS. Tough shit - after all, he wouldn't let me censor it !!! Lets get out of here ! We'll say it was Muggins !!!
M. Barbbbbbbbbbbbb is that you ??? I swear it was her ! I'll have to stop eating Granny Smith's cooking or was it those 2 big packets of chocolate biscuits I ate. Krazy Kelvin keeps hiding all his "goodies" but I can smell chocolate at a 100 paces - he should know that by now !!! Back to dreamland zzzzzzzzzzzzZzZzZz !!!!!!!

Barb & I might be back, next week !!! burb - pardon me ssshhh o:-) Censor


From - Saturday June 18th 2005

Kelvin Yorke & Muggins

Kia Ora Everyone
Welcome to our krazy krazy blog. I need to borrow your brains (if you have got any, that is) for a minute, then you can email me kjmkama@yahoo.com and let me know what you think of this idea. You see, this krazy blog is going to get bigger - much bigger - there's no question about it. So - do we just have the "post of 10" on this blog each week, start a second blog for "Muggins" and a third blog for contributions from family & friends from not only around NZ but also around the world or do we just carry on as per normal and put "everything" on this one blog and see how it goes ? It will be easy enough to transfer "posts" to other blogs, if/when the need arises to do transfers. (I may need a transfer myself at some stage - a brain transfer !!!) Now that didn't tax your brains too much, did it ? So you can have your brains back now - I don't know whose the sawdust was. I'll leave it up to you - do we do separate blogs or do we stick together. After all this is "OUR BLOG" - your home away from home - I am but the krazy "nut" behind the wheel !!! If we start getting toooo big, we could even start a "board" and let them make all the decisions. All the young(er) ones could eventually take over this krazy blog and keep it going. I can just imagine kids in 100 years time, coming across Kelvin A Memory Always and thinking -

"Boy, if Mum thinks we're krazy, she should read this blog ! This was one really krazy krazy kid". Mum, mum you have to read this krazy blog. "I always have, because he was my Great Great Uncle and your Great Great Great Uncle Kelvin as well as a friend to many people around NZ & around the world".

So as I said before - you never know, one day we could all end up as "stars". If I become a star before you, I will shine my light down so you can see "THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN" !!! I will be waiting at the top of the stairs for you. Am I a good friend to you or what ???

So lets see all those emails on whether we should separate (I aren't talking about humans who are reading this krazy blog - we will be friends for ever & a day) and have different blogs or should we stick "together", then I'll let you know if you are a good friend to me, or what !!!

K.Muggins, you're crying !!!
M.No !!! I've just got a little bit of dust in my eyes and its making them water, thats all
K.Someone is telling porkies. You will never go to Heaven ! Hey, I have just had a brain-wave !!! M. Boy, Krazy Kelvin thats dangerous for someone your age !
K.What if I give people "links" to other blogs, which I have enjoyed reading ?
M. Now you are really talking krazy. If a krazy person enjoys reading another persons blog, imagine what it could do to a sane person - it would not only blow them off their seat, but more than likely blow their pants off as well.
K.I think I am going to have to let you sit on the "board", Muggins.
M.Me !!! You will let me sit on the board ? Me !!!
K.Yeah ! The board sticking off the end of the jetty, I broke when I was a kid.
M.You broke THAT jetty !!! You broke that jetty !!! You didn't say a word at the time - not a word !!!
K.No ! I never said anything, for the simple reason because I knew you would get blamed.
M.You let me take the blame, for something that you broke ? A jetty !!! You could of broken something small !
K.Don't worry, when-ever I broke anything, big or small and you were around, I always blamed you or let you take the blame. I may of been a krazy kid, but I wasn't silly !

Muggins closes his eyes and starts counting. He always closes his eyes and counts to 20, when he is angry. When he is really angry, you can actually see steam coming out his ears. I think this is one of those times !

Krazy Kelvin has left the building !

Muggins finally opens his eyes......Kelvinnnnnnn !!!

Krazy Kelvin is long gone, he ain't silly ........all you can see is his dust !!!

Ssshhh ! That jetty I broke - the silly man was stupid enough to build it next door to where we were living, anyway so don't feel sorry for him. Someone should of warned him that a krazy kid lived next door. The jetty was nearly finished, but they still had piles to put in place along the sides of the second half. So, what does krazy Kelvin go and do when no one is around ??? He walks right out to the end of the jetty and jumps .... up & down on it !!! The result been half a jetty and a bloody good raft. I think Muggins may of ended up with the piles after that - piles of kicks up the butt !!! I kept telling him that he was a "mug" to be friends with me, but.... he would not listen. he always kept coming back. Thats how he ended up with the nickname - "Muggins". He always called me a f...... krazy kid !!! A krazy kid maybe but nevertheless a kid ! I know Muggins will forgive me - he always does, because we have known each other for donkeys years. This time, I may have to turn on my charm a bit - just a weeny bit though, because I don't want to spoil my image for been krazy, do I ?

I'll be back........


From - 2nd July 2005

#925. She Said Don't Touch My Nuts !!!

Never let it be said, that Granny Smith didn't care about her friends - she was from the "old school", brought up to always think of helping other people & doing good deeds. When she was young(er) if someone was poorly, she was the first one to turn up to help with the housework, cooking, washing and the kids !!! She would call bearing homemade "gifts" of preserves, sauces & pickles as well as baking, from her kitchen, plus vegetables from her garden & fruit from her trees, including a bag of Granny Smith Apples. Even if you already had an abundance of food, because to her gifts of food, were "gifts of life". Now she is getting on a bit, her doesn't venture far so people are returning the favours and helping her & giving her gifts.

One day, someone had given her a packet of chocolate coated "nuts". Muggins & I were over at her place, this particular day "doing some cleaning" for her. She said to us as she went into the kitchen to make us morning tea - "Don't touch my nuts that are on the table". If there is anything that Muggins likes better than chocolate - its "nuts" - any kind of nuts. There was a small bowl of just "plain nuts" as well as half a packet of chocolate coated nuts. Muggins, thought she wouldn't miss a "few", so he took a couple from the bowl & a couple from the packet. I said to him,"Not a good idea, Muggins" !!!. "Its okay, she won't miss a few nuts" - so he takes some more ! "Ohooooo these are nice, especially the plain ones" ! Don't you want one, Krazy Kelvin"? "No thanks, Muggins, you can eat them" !!! Shortly, Granny Smith starts laying the table with morning tea, lunch & afternoon tea !!! Well, thats what it looked like, but Granny Smith always puts on a good spread for people who take time help to help her and she knows Muggins only too well - he eats like a horse and he will eat anything !!! I know better not to touch any womans nuts, especially Granny Smiths, "nuts". Because I had sat at the same table, the day before and had a cup of tea. While I ate her home baking, she opened her packet of chocolate coated nuts. I watched her as she took one of the chocolate coated nuts out of the packet and put it in her mouth. A couple of minutes later she took the nut out of her mouth and put it in the dish, then put another choolate coated nut in her mouth and so on ........!!! She loved the chocolate, but she couldn't eat the nuts because of her false teeth. She said, she always throws the "nuts" out. The moral of the story is - never touch a womans nuts, especially not Grannys Smiths, if you visit her and there's a dish of plain nuts on her table !!! I haven't told Muggins,yet - I am just waiting for that "golden opportunity".............!!!
Maybe he will read this first and I won't have to tell him.

M. Kelvinnnnnnnn !!! You could of told me !!!
K. You will learn Muggins - when a lady says " don't touch my nuts" she means - "Don't Touch My Nuts"


From - 21st May, 2005

#961. I Gave Him A Hug, But He Didn't Hug Me Back !!!

Down memory lane we go .........Over the years, I met a lot of people of all ages, from all walks of life. This is a "memory" of one person, I won't forget..........

I was walking around town, with a mate, Kerry W., when we past by a fella sitting by himself, who looked like he really could do with a helping "hand". So I stopped to talk to him. He was a tourist to our shores from Germany. I'd like to think, that when he visited other parts of our country that people who saw him, reached out and gave him a helping "hand" as well, because he really did need it. He was a really interesting person to talk to. In fact I spent, the best part of the day with him, walking around the city. We even went to a buffet restaurant, where we had a meal. After we had finished our meal, we went and sat in Aotea Square, where he rolled himself a cigarette and we sat there talking for a while. A lot of people stopped and starred at us, but he didn't seem to mind. Anyway, the time came for us, to say good-bye. As we stood there, I reached out and gave him a hug. He had a big smile on his face and a tear in his eye, because I don't think many people reached out to give him a helping "hand", let alone a hug. It was sad to say good-bye to him. Who knows........our paths crossed once in life, they may cross again in the future.
Scroll down and you will learn the reason why he didn't hug me back !!!


Warning: This will send shivers down your spine. All kids may be fictitious and any resemblance to actual big kids, living is purely coincidental.
From - 28th May 2005

#977. Pennies From Heaven ???

Down the lane we go or in this case under the hotel we go .....pennies from heaven ? Well to kids, that is what it seemed like back in those days. All they had to do to collect the "pennies', was to crawl around underneath the outside decking area of a certain hotel. There was broken glass, beer tops, cigarette butts & "pennies" dropped, through the gaps of the boards, by drunk people who sat at the tables on the decking having a beer or two. It always seem to be wet - whether it was fresh beer spilt from their jugs, or re-cycled beer, kids didn't care. All they cared about were the "pennies from heaven" !!! Because they knew that afterwards, they could bury their "pennies" in the sand, while they had a swim. Then lie on on the beach in the sun drying off, eating ice-cream & lollies brought with their "pennies from heaven". Then currency changed its name and the "pennies from heaven" became dollars & cents !!! (Everyone of course knows what re-cycled beer is........you don't ???)

Put your hands up, all you big kids who lived in the Bay of Islands and who went on a "pub crawl" as this will jog more than a few memories. I don't think any kid, in those days was told not to do it - even if he was told not to, he still went ahead and did it anyway because it really was "Pennies From Heaven". Kids were kids !!!

From - 28th May 2005

#972. Run Over At 7 !!!

Believe me, from where I saw it - it was a truck !!! I would of been about 7 at the time, I think (getting old - memory blockage !!) It happened at our house, where we live at Wolfe St, Whangarei. I was watching out for Dad, who was due home from work. I saw him just going to turn into our concrete driveway. So I rushed out and tried to jump up on the running board of the truck and grab hold of the door handle, while the truck was still moving up our long driveway, but I slipped and fell on the ground, under the truck. The back wheel ran right over my stomach. The first thing Dad said, when he got out and picked me up was that he thought it was a block of wood. They phoned for an ambulance and when it arrived they put me in it. They poke and prodded me and asked if I was alright. I said yes, so they carried me into the house. The good thing was, I was allowed to stay home from school for a week even though there was nothing wrong with me. The best part about it, was my brothers & sisters were extra nice fetching & carrying for "poor old sick me". I made the most of it I can tell you, but I never tried doing that again. I remember the truck had high wooden sides and its colour was green. I may of been a little bit "green" myself, when Dad picked me up - wouldn't you after been run over by a truck. (I think it weighed about 5 or 6 tons) My "Guardian Angel" was with me that day. I'll see if any of the family have any old photos of it.

From 18th June, 2005.

# 947. Down Memory Lane - There Are No Strangers In The World !!!

When I think back to the spate of accidents I had, as well as the krazy things I got up to as a kid, it makes me wonder that how I managed to get this far in life. I would of been about 10/11 - 13 when we lived up north about 8 miles from Paihia, so what does Krazy Kelvin do ??? What else - he puts out his thumb and hitch-hikes to Paihia or walks !!! It never entered my head not to do it and I can't recall anyone telling me not to do it. I know, even if I had been told not to do it, I would of went ahead and did it anyway. In those days, I was a krazy young rebel - these days I am .... ! (no need to leave a comment) There is an old saying, which I don't know how long it has been around which I really took to heart - "There are no strangers in the world, just friends that you haven't met". I would stop and talk to anyone, it didn't matter how old they were and sometimes I would even take them home to met the family !!! If you thought you had problems, when your kids walked in the door with strange animals, spare a thought for my parents, when I walked in the door with strange people all the time !!! They must had a heart attack. I remember one day I stopped to talk to an "old" truck driver in Paihia, who had a huge truck. I would of been about 12, so to me he was "old" ! Anyway to cut a long story short, he gave me a lift home right to our door. It was no mean feat, as the last couple of miles was metal roads, which petered out into a clay road, with a bit of metal.The last bit of road, was cut out into the side of a hill, with hardly any room for a normal vehicle, let alone a huge truck. There was also a sharp bend half way down the hill. I don't know what our family thought seeing the truck, heading down the hill. Anyway, I took the driver (who gave me his name & address in Auckland) in to meet the family and have a cup of tea. I think Dad may of given him a cup of something stronger, because he still had to get up the hill, which was far worst than coming down. One of my older sisters, who happened to be visiting from Auckland, asked the driver if he would give her a lift back to Auckland. He said, that was no problem, just go and ask his girlfriend who was asleep in the truck. She walks out to the truck, with all us following behind - I didn't say anything - she opens the door and there's his girlfriend sitting on the front seat - a "sausage dog" !!! We all had a good laugh. Did I ever see that truck driver again ......??? I did when I ran away, but thats another story for another day.

From - 25th June 2005

#936. She Is An Oldie But A Goodie

During the typing up of this "post", I had to refer to a dictionary which belongs to a friend, a "few" times for certain words. I thought I would look up some other words as well just to see if they were there. (I assure you that I didn't look up any "rude" words and they are words I can spell without the need of a dictionary). I just wanted to see, if the following were in it...they were - "Computer" - calculator; "web" - spiders web; "monitor" - one who gives warning or advice, shall I go on ? Other words never even got a mention - blog, weblog, internet, emoticon, email, online, modem, wired-up, hotspots. How old is the dictionary ??? Not that old - 1963 !!! When I give it back to the old(er) "lady" I borrowed it from, I'll tell her she is really showing her age. I'll just make sure she ain't in the kitchen baking and using the old wooden rolling pin she has got, because she will no doubt throw the dictionary back at me followed by the rolling pin ! I wouldn't mind if she followed that up, with her baking as well, (I don't mind if it drops on the floor - a little of dirt never hurt any one) because I have to say one thing for her - she is a great cook, but old(er) than me, much older ! In fact she is so old, she still prefers to use her "outhouse" with little squares of paper and lots of webs - spider webs that is !!! She won't use the indoor toilet ! If you asked her if she was "wired-up" and or if she had any "hotspots" you would more than likely end up with a thick ear, because she would think that you were talking about her under-garments & her "body". I think I will ask her, if she is wired-up and if she does have any "hotspots" but from a distance of course - after all I am Krazzzy !!!


From 2nd July 2005

#924. Down Memory Lane - Pot Luck Dinners

"Pot Luck Dinners" !!! What has happened to these ? Have they gone by the roadside ? When we were all single & silly, (Krazy Kelvin is still single & silly as well as krazy, as we all know !!!) as no doubt Granny Smith would tell you, PLD's were all the rage ! We would start off at someone's place with, goodness knows what, spread on crackers; move on to the next place, for the next course which was usually spaghetti & meatballs or mince with mixed veges; then on again to the next place for dessert - Granny Smith Apple Pie, Vanilla ice cream or Hokey Pokey Ice Cream & fruit and then finally to the last place, which somehow or other always ended up been "my place" for tea, coffee & biscuits and .........story telling !!! I always had to start the ball-rolling, so to speak. But it seem the time they spent telling their story grew shorter & shorter while mine grew longer & longer. It wasn't long before it was my turn yet again. Other times, everyone would turn up at "someones" place with their "pot", salad or what-ever !!! It was always usually held at the "last place", which of course was my place. You never heard any complaints about not been able to eat this, or I don't like that. Food was food - it was plain & wholesome !!! Afterwards it was fun & laughter all around, especially when it came to story telling. Sometimes we would end up with someone playing the guitar as well as someone else playing the "spoons". I don't know what our neighbours, on Shortland St must of thought, although most of the time, they joined in as well ! We didn't have much money in those days, but hey we seem to manage and we had a lot of good times which made for good memories. It was always rent first, bills & then food. We shared & shared alike. When someone was "stuck" we helped them out. If someone got turfed out of their flat, someone always took them in. It wasn't unknown for 4 people to be sharing a one bedroom flat. "Time" moved a lot slower, than it does now-adays !!! Its hard to keep up with the changes, that occur in everyday life now. It seems, most people, even friends don't have the time to spare, to help other friends in need any more - its sad to say the least !!! Again I suppose its the way, the world is moving, or has moved, I should say. !!! Does anyone still go to or have Pot Luck Dinners ??? It doesn't have to be top notch food - tin of spaghetti with mince thrown in (cooked of course); followed by the good olde New Zealand favourites - Granny Smith Apple Pie & Vanilla Ice Cream or Hokey Pokey Ice Cream !!! Or you could just have jelly & fruit. Its not so much the food that makes a "meal" its the friends that you are sharing it with !!! Don't forget Master Storyteller afterwards - you can even pinch some of mine, if I aren't there. I don't mind if you do. But you if you scratch your head enough, will jog some of your own Memory cells and you won't have need of "Kelvin A Memory Always" !!!


From 25th June 2005.

# 958. Why Didn't He Hug Me Back ??? In Answer To # 961

Everyone will no doubt have their own idea of why this fella, who would of been in his 20's, never hugged me back. Some of you may be "close" to the truth, but you still ain't getting a prize ! Others of you will be so far out of the ball park, you aren't even in the game. So to put you all out of your misery....is it one word or is it two words......Krazy Kelvin, just hurry up.........The answer is - he was "sselmra". You are pulling our leg again and leading us up the garden path !!! Hey, maybe I would lead you "up the garden path" but I certainly wouldn't hold your hand, as I don't know where its been !!!
The truth of the matter is, that this fella, when he was 15, did a very stupid thing - he climbed a power pylon. The result been that he had to get both arms amputated at the shoulder. It could of been worst - he could of lost his life. Over a period of time they gave him electric shocks to his ankles, to loosen up the muscles, to enable him to learn how to use his feet as his hands. As I said, I spent a great deal of time with him. We even went shopping and even though we had just met, he trusted me enough to take money out of his shoulder bag that he carried, to pay for his purchases. When we went to that buffet restaurant (I shouted him) he told me, what he wanted on his plate, then he asked for a spoon. I carried our plates over to the table, where he pulled a chair out and told me to put the plate on the chair. I "handed" him the spoon and he put it between his toes and we sat there enjoying our meal. After we had finished our meal, we went and sat in Aotea Square, which is at the top end of Queen St - the main street of Auckland. He pulled a tobacco pouch, a lighter and one of those small "roll your own machines" out of his shoulder bag and rolled himself a cigarette. As we sat there, people stopped and starred. It didn't worry him in the least as he quite used to people starring. No doubt other people over the years reached out and gave him a helping "hand", but it took Krazy Kelvin to go one step futher .....As we stood there saying our good-byes, I reached out my "hands" and gave him a big hug, putting a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes, as no one had ever reached out to him before and given him a hug. (Hey - it cost me nothing !) It was a sad good-bye. One thing for certainly, is that of all the people I have meet and shook hands with, including the NZ prime minister, I will never forget the "armless" man !!! He was a tourist to our shores, so I like to think that as he travelled around our country, other people reached out and not only gave him a helping hand but also a hug, because he certainly did need a helping "hand" and a hug !!! A "hug" like a "smile" costs you nothing !!! But this wasn't the only time, that Krazy Kelvin reached out to someone who he had just met and gave them a hug which ended in tears. There was "Xmas Day Tears on Queen St" - coming soon when we walk "Down Memory Lane" together, again

Footnote: Beacuse of me numbering my posts from #999, post #961 was posted before 958.


From 25th June, 2005

#930. Down Memory Lane - "Xmas Day Tears On Queen St"

There no "pink pigs" within a million miles of this story - as we "tear" down Queen St........again !!!
The day started off really early at "sparrows fart", because after all it was Christmas Day !!! After having breakfast and doing a few other things, I left home with 2 plastic bags that I had filled from a big hamper a friend had given me, plus $200 in an envelope as I headed out to see another family for xmas day. I caught a bus into the middle of the city and then walked down Queen St to where my other bus was going to leave from to go out to East Auckland. It was about 10am. As I walked through what was then known as Queen Elizabeth Square at the bottom of Queen St, I saw this big maori fella sitting by himself - his head slightly down and I could see that he had a "sad" look on his face. Been Xmas day, (even it had been any other day, I know I still would of went over to talk to him) I walked over to him, even though I was in a hurry to catch a bus. He looked up - I said Merry Xmas, boy (even though he would of been in his late 20's) and gave him a hug. You could see the tears started to form in his eyes. He had been sitting there for a while yet no one had even stopped to talk to him, even just to say Merry Xmas, to him. It took Krazy Kelvin to stop !!! I don't know why someone didn't stop - I suppose people didn't look beyond the fact that he was a maori, had dreglocks & 2 bone carvings around his neck. He had just got into town from Australia after been away from "home" for a few years. His family had paid for his airfare home as well as for a bus ticket to his home town. He had nothing with him, no bag, just the clothes that he was in, including a demin jacket. Within 10 minutes of me sitting down to talk to him, he was really crying !!! He had his head on my shoulder, so I don't know what people thought as they walked past us (Anyway, I didn't give a shit what they thought !!!) Here was someone that was in need of someone to talk to - I wasn't going to turn my back and walk away from him. I let him talk & cry and get it all out. He had no gifts to take home with him so I said to him, that he could have the 2 plastic bags that I had with me. That started the tears again as he reached over and gave me a hug. But it didn't end there - remember I am Krazy Kelvin and this is a krazy krazy blog !!! I reached into my pocket for a pen and the envelope containing the money. I put a line through the name of the family I had wrote on the envelope, that I "was" heading out to see, for xmas day. I put my hand out with the envelope and said to him that there was $200 in the envelope - it was his !!! He must of thought that I was an o:-) from Heaven. He took the envelope, gave me a hug again - then looked at the envelope at the name I had crossed out. It was a very uncommon name as far as surnames go. Tears started again, because ........it turned out that he knew the "name". In fact the family was from his own home town and he even gone to school with some of them. This was part of the same family I was heading out to see at East Auckland. After all this, there was no way, I was going to leave him, so I rang the family and told them that I'd be there, sometime !!! Then I hung out with him, we walked around town, I brought us a feed a couple of times and something to drink and then I went to see him off on his bus "home" at 4pm. Just before he stepped on to the bus, he turned to me and gave me a big hug, tears in his eyes - again !!! He took his demin jacket off and went to "give" it to me, but I could never take the shirt from someones back, let alone a jacket, even if it was offered as it was all he had !!! I have seen him once since then and no doubt I'll see him again - one day. I may of missed out on xmas dinner, but hey I made a friend for life. It also turned out, that he was part maori/part islander and he had come home so his extended family could take him., "home" to the islands to get the tatoos done as per the islanders custom, as he is someday, destined to become a "chief" of a village, back in the islands. One day, I could be "sunning" myself under a palm tree - don't worry, I will have a laptop so I can keep this krazy krazy blog going and may be later on in the night when I shut my lap-top off, I'll might have a lap-dance !!! Krazzzzzy to the kore !!!


Chapter 4. Thirteen comments I've given & thirteen I've received.

Over the past year or so, I would of left a few comments - well, more than a few, if the truth be known. These are of course just a random selection of 13 comments that I have received & 13 I have given to other bloggers !!!

1. Tena koutou !! (i hope that's right..to say hello to all of u)thanx for dropping by, kelvin.u have quite a lotta blogs out there and was wondering where to put in a thank you note. good idea to have one just for that :)hope to see ya around more often.
9:47 PM, May 12, 2006

2. Hi/Kia Ora..:)You seem a very interesting person and your lucky to come from one of the most beautiful heavens on earth-NEW ZEALAND.I hope to travel there one day.I went through some of your blogs and found some real good blogs at 212121...www.nzworldrecipes.blogspot.com is another very interesting blog which is sure going to shape up very well.Great work!All the best!
12:48 AM, March 05, 2006

3. HaHaaa...,U do have alot of blogs! (...and yes, we R crazy!)Takes alot of time 2 maintain them!I would be honored to B linked to your sites. I have always, always wanted 2 visit New Zealand. It seems very beautiful there. My sites R updated daily, so stop back by and say hi! I will B back by here also! U have soooo many links-It will take me awhile 2 get thru u'r site!:]
10:55 AM, March 03, 2006

4. Hey!Thanks for listing me on your blog-list. It's nice to know that people other than our parents and friends are following us through my blog.--Dov
10:43 AM, March 03, 2006

5. First, thanks for visiting my blog. It is very true about blogging releases stress. It really does. When I am through with my chores and need a rest, I open my computer and blog. If nothing to blog I open my blog roll links or browse the internet for other blogs to read and when able and can relate to the topic, I comment.
10:00 PM, February 23, 2006

6. Hi Kelvin, thank you for the computer disk and magazine. It arrived yesterday (june 22). I'm looking forward to trying out the new programs and the magazine has a lot of good information in it. Thanks again and happy blogging!Christine :)
6:11 AM, June 23, 2006

7. Hello! :) Your blogs are really amazing and very interesting ;) I shall visit frequently to read:) I wish some day I will travel to New Zealand (its soooooooooo far from my place ;)Thank you for your visit to my blog and for the nice comment :)all the happy best ;)
4:49 PM, March 04, 2006

8. hi kelvin , you posted a coment in my blog, and tough you do not speak my language, Spanish, I speak yours and want to thank you for the coments, sometimes pictures say more than words do, my name is Patricia, I was born in Argentina, but actually living in Eilat, Israel, since 2003. I loved you blog is just wonderfull, as your country is. kisses from this part of the world.
5:36 AM, June 20, 2006

9. Alo! how are you doing? well i read your comment on my blog...hey thanks for what you said about the pictures, most of them are made or modified by me... check it soon i´ll put some good images, about beatles and everything else that goes around my mind, well i´m from mexico city..that´s my place and having visitors from the other side of the world it´s great.....see ya in comments later...byepgabee
7:43 PM, March 07, 2006

10. CONGRATULATIONS Kelvin!You were the very first 'uninvited' person to stumble onto my blog and actually leave a comment!Thanks so much. I, of course, felt that it was only fair that I leave a comment in return.I love your advice about starting blogs and 'always leave a comment' on every blog you visit. I think it's great that you follow your own advice too.Thanks for visiting. I'm simply amazed at how many different blogs you have.- Karen
4:01PM, May 09,2006

11. hi Kelvin, Nice idea for your blog!!! instead we put all in one blog, cool! :) thank you very much to stop by in my blog. Its in Indonesian Language but we live in Saudi Arabia, coz i'm half-indonesia and half saudia... coll right :) thanks to mention my blog in urs.
10:09 PM, June 11, 2006

12. Hello Kelvin, thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. It looks like we are both crazy bloggers, but I haven't been keeping up very well lately. But, I hope to rectify that. I've had a comicbook story published in New Zealand's Funtime Comics. I tell people here, in California, that I'm famous in New Zealand because of that one story. But, I'm not really famous.I liked your suggestion about posting comments on other blogs, even when they are in a foreign language. I'm sorry, I can't remember your full post now, but I liked it. I'll be checking out your blogs from now on.
10:14 AM, March 10, 2006

13. Hi Kelvin !Thanks for visiting my blog.My native language is portuguese, I'm from Brazil, but I live in the Netherlands now.Sorry, but I'm too lazy to write the post also in English... hehehhe But, my target is to share with others, the pictures I've been taking since I came here.In the end, the pictures speak for me !Come back whenever you want !Rgds,Susana
1:51 PM, May 12, 2006

1. Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. A reason to wake uo the next day ? People love you !!! You are a tryer at getting people to do things for you ? As for a long vacation - I would send you a plane ticket but it would be a "wing seat" so you would more than likely fall off, land on some poor person & kill them !!! Next question ??? Am I krazy - Yes !!! (hehe) By the way - Merry Christmas !!!

At 11:30 AM, December 21, 2005, the-think said...
Just put up something on the pretext on proving you wrong ;) hehe
At 11:16 AM, January 03, 2006, the-think said...
HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR to you too!!

2.Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. Great recipe/s - even a krazy person can follow. You have a really great blog. Can I mention it on my foodies blog ???

April 24, 2006
Katy said...
Of course you may kelvin, always nice to meet new, and especially, food loving people! Thank you for your sweet words.

3. Kia Ora from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. "Hay makes the bull fat; the bull makes the cow fat, & the cow makes the butter-fat", so we need hay and lots of it, so we can put butter on our morning toast !!! (Hehe)

At Thursday, October 06, 2005 8:32:24 PM, Floridacracker said...
Kelvin,Kia Ora back buddy! Welcome to PureFlorida!

4. Kia Ora Tu, from that krazy monkey down under in New Zealand. You are lucky to have such a good sister. If you ever came to New Zealand, it would be cook-it-yourself or go without !!! (hehe)

5. Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. friends say I am "nutty" enough so can you please make the next batch of cookies, without nuts !!! (hehe) I love your blog - can I mention it on one of my blogs - 21 21 21 Blogs ?

6. Kia Ora (hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. Better luck, next time !!! I have never been rejected, because I have never submitted anything, anywhere !!! I wouldn't know how even if I tried. People say I'm krazy, but if the truth be known I think the people reading my blogs are krazier than me - I have no idea where they are coming from, but i aren't going to tell them to "stop" (hehe)You have an interesting blog.

7. Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. Its not a case of how tall or how short, how fat or how thin, its a case of how you treat people - as they say never judge a book by its cover !!!

8. Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand.No I don't believe in horoscopes only horror-scopes when I look in the mirror (hehe)

At 10:55 AM, waterlilie said...
Kelvin-so it's good ur all the way in New Zealand then :) hehe

9. Kia Ora (Hello) from that krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. Boy, you sure were busy !!! I know you will have more than a few memories (you aren't getting old - just a little krazy !!!) but I have always said, "It's not the memories I have that are important, it's the memories I left behind" !!! lol

10.Hello from a blogger down under in New Zealand. The "J" family passed on your blog address to me as I am compiling blogs for my blog Around The World In 80 Blogs I already have 1 blog listed from Brazil, but will consider listing your blog as well as it is really great.
The easiest way to find my blogs is search - Google. type in - krazy kelvin - click - I'm feeling lucky

11. Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. You either like blogging or you hate it - there's no in bewteen. I started my first blog ever on Black Friday 13th May 2005 !!! I just blog to express my not to impress others. It also keeps me off the streets !!!

12. A blogger himself, ‘Krazy Kelvin’ wrote me yesterday asking if he could post a link to my website… like I’m going to turn down free publicity. ..

13. Kia Ora (Hello) & Happy New Year from a krazy blogger down under in New Zealand. You have a very professional setout & detailed blog

Footnote:I might be listing #13 on the foodie blog soon, so you can see for yourself the setout, etc.

It's not the memories I have, it's the memories I leave behind.